It has been two months of social distancing, Two months without seeing friends and extended family, Two months without exploring my favourite stomping grounds in the city, Two months of watching the news outlining the raising mortality rates, Two long-ass months of reassuring everyone around me that united we shall be okay.
Well the fact of the matter is that we really don’t know, and today for the first time in two months I felt melancholy. For the first time in two months I felt restricted, caged and suffocated. And that is perfectly alright, it’s good to acknowledge all of our feelings, and know that we are allowed to feel the way we feel, and that not every day can be rainbows and sunshine. Yet at the same time I am painfully aware of my privilege and good fortune. I am no longer shackled to a hospital bed, while others are now fighting for their lives. The same ventilators that once kept me alive are now quite literally breathing life into others. Painfully aware that me missing socialization is not important in the grand scheme of things. Never the less it doesn’t make
the feelings any less real or any less valid.
My melancholy mood was fleeting, and in all honesty has already passed. Over the course of this month I have attempted to keep my sanity by establishing a new normal with new purpose. Simply taking joy in the little things. Essentially doing things that bring me joy. This is obviously different for each person, for me it constitutes getting ready each day as if I have somewhere to go. Clothes and makeup give me immense joy. Fake it till you make it. Look good, feel good certainly holds true for me. That got me through living in a hospital for six months, and it is getting me through this.
I have new goals I want to accomplish and achieve, giving me new purpose for each day, whether that is attempting to become a better baker, and master the ultimate cookie and pie recipe, or even starting my own blog. Purpose is so important, it is what got me through my stint in the hospital.
But as we go through different phases of our lives, and as life’s circumstances change and continuously evolve, so does our purpose.
The need for human contact is also engrained in the human psyche and I certainly yearn for it. In the hospital this need was satiated with a constant stream of visitors. Obviously this is not possible now, so we must turn to the use of technology to keep human contact, and the use of Skype, Zoom and FaceTime has certainly come to my rescue.
I am also lucky enough to have a wonderful little puppy and she is the amount of energy that 10 people give rolled into one adorable little 8lb dog. She and my amazing family are the sole reasons that I have been able to stay sane and positive throughout this time. It has definitely been two long months, and there might be many more months just like this to come, yet I know that we as humans are adaptive and we shall adjust to this new phase of life with new purpose and renewed ways of staying in contact.
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